Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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