Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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