Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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