Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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