Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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