Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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