Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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