Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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