Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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