Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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