Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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