Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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