Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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