Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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