Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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