Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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