Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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