Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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