Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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