Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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