Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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