Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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