Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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