Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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