Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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