Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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