Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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