Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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