Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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