Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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