Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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