Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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