Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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