Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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