Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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