Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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