Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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