Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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