Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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