Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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