Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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