Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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