Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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