Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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