Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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