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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo Drizzle!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?
They both whine alot!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?
A buff-a-loan
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?
To the dock.
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Where do fish keep their money?
In a river bank
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What's green and loud?
A froghorn.
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