Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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