Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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