Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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