Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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