Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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