Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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