Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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