Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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