Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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