Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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