Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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