Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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