Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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