Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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