Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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