Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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