Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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