Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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