Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
or
One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
or
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
or
One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Answer: The back of his head.
or