Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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