Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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