Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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