Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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