Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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