Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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