Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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