Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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