Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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