Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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