Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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