Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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