Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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