Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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