Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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