Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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