Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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