Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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