Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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