Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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