Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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