Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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