Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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