Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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