Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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