Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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