Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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