Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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