Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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