Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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