Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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