Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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