Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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