Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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