Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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