Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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