Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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