Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.

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