Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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