Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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