Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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