Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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