Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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