Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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