Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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