Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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