Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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