Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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