Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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