Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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