Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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