Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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