Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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