Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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