Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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