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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have any guts!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow
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Where do you go to find a million story building?
You go to the Library!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?
You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"
Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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