Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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