Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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