Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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