Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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