Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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