Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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