Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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