Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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