Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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