Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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