Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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