Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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