Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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