Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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