Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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