Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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