Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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