Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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