Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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