Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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