Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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