Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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