Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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