Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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