Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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