Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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