Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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