Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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