Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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