Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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