Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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