Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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