Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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