Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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