Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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