Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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