Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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