Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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