Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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