Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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