Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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