Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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