Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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