Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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