Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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