Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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