Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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