Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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