Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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