Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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