Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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