Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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