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Why don't aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?
They both have a hole in one!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
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