Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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