Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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