Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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