Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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