Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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