Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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