Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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