Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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