Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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