Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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