Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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