Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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