Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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