Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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