Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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