Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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A seal walks into a club...
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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