Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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