Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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