Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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