Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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