Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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