Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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