Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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