Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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