Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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