Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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