Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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