Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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