Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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