Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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