Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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