Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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