Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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