Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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