Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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