Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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