Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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