Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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