Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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