Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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