Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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