Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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