Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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