Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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