Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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