Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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