Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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