Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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