Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
Canvas not available.

or


Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
Canvas not available.

or


My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

Canvas not available.

or


Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
Canvas not available.

or


What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
Canvas not available.

or


How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
Canvas not available.

or


What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
Canvas not available.

or


What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
Canvas not available.

or


Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
Canvas not available.

or


How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026