Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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