Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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