Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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