Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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