Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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