Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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