Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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