Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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