Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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