Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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