Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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