Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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