Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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