Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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