Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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