Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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