Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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