Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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