Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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