Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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