Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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