Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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