Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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