Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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