Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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