Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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