Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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