Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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