Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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