Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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