Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.


GOOD		CRAP

or

I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.


GOOD		CRAP

or

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"


GOOD		CRAP

or

What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.


GOOD		CRAP

or

What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.


GOOD		CRAP

or

What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.


GOOD		CRAP

or

What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.


GOOD		CRAP

or