Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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