Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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