Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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