Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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