Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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