Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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