Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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