Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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