Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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