Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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