Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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