Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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