Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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