Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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