Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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