Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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