Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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