Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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