Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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