Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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