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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How does a penguin build it's house?
Igloos it together.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?
A swordfish
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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