Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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