Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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