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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?
She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?
An onion
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?
A swordfish
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What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.
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I'll call you later.
Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
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What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
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