Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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