Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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