Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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