Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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