Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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