Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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