Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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