Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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