Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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