Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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