Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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