Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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