Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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