Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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