Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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