Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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