Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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