Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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