Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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