Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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