Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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