Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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