Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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