Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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