Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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