Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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