Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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