Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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