Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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