Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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