Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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