Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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