Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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