Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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