Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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