Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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