Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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