Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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