Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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