Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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