Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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