Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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