Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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