Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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