Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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