Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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