Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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