Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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