Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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