Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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