Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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