Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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