Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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