Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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