Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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