Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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