Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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