Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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