Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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