Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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