Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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