Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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