Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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