Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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