Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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