Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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