Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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