Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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