Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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