Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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