Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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