Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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