Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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