Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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