Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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