Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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