Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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