Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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