Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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