Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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