Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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