Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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