Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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