Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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