Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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