Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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