Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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