Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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