Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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