Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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