Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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