Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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