Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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