Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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