Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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