Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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