Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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