Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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