Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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