Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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