Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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