Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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