Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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