Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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