Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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