Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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