Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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