Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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