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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?
She was caught taking a brake.
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What music does cheese listen to?
R & Brie.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede on its back!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is a cat's favorite movie?
The sound of Mew-sic
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