Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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