Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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