Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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