Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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