Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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