Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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