Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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