Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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