Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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