Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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