Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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