Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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