Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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