Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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