Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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