Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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