Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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