Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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