Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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