Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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