Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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