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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it
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What do lawyers wear in court?
Lawsuits.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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