Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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