Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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