Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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