Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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