Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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