Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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