Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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