Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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