Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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