Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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