Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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