Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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