Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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