Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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