Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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