Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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