Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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