Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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