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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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Went to the paper shop -
it had blown away.
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What do lawyers wear in court?
Lawsuits.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?
A swordfish
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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna
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