Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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