Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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