Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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