Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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