Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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