Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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