Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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