Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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