Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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