Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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