Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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