Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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