Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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