Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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