Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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