Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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