Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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