Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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