Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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