Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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