Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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