Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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