Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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