Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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