Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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