Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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