Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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