Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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