Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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