Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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