Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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