Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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