Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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