Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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