Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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