Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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