Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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