Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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