Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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