Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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