Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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