Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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