Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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