Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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