Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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