Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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