Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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