Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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