Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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