Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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