Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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