Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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