Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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