Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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