Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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