Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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