Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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