Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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