Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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