Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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