Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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