Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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