Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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