Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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