Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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