Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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