Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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