Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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