Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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