Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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