Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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