Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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