Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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