Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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