Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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