Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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