Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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