Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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