Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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