Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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