Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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