Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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