Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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