Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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