Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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