Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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