Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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