Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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