Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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