Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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