Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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