Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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