Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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