Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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