Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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