Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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