Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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