Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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