Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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