Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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