Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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