Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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