Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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