Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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