Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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