Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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