Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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