Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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