Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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