Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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