Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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