Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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