Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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