Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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