Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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