Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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