Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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