Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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