Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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