Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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