Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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