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Why to lawyers wear neckties?
To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker
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What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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What do you call a mad elephant?
An earthquake.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?
2 years old.
Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?
Virgin mobile.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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