Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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