Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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