Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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