Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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