Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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