Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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