Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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