Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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