Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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