Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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