Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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