Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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