Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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