Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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