Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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