Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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