Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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