Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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