Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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