Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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