Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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