Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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