Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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