Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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