Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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