Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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