Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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