Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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