Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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