Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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