Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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