Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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