Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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