Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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