Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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