Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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