Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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