Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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