Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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