Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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