Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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