Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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