Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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