Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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