Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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