Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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