Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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