Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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