Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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