Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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