Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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