Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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