Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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