Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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