Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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