Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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