Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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