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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?
If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of music do planets sing?
Neptunes!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, but they're really only one.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?
"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?
"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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