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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A watch dog.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?
A ruler.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?
Frosted Flakes!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me
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What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutes playing in unison.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,
and then it dawned on me.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?
By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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