Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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