Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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