Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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