Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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