Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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