Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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