Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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