Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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