Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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