Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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