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Why was the ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?
The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?
Because Mercury moved in.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
WHAT?
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?
The players dribble a lot.
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