Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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