Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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