Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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