Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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