Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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