Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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