Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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