Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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