Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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