Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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