Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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