Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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