Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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