Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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