Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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