Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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