Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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