Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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