Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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