Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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