Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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