Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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