Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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