Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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