Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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