Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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