Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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