Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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