Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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