Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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