Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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