Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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