Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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