Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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