Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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