Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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