Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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