Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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