Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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