Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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