Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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