Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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