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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?
He was caught stealing second base.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
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What did one cow say to the other?
Mooooooove over
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
WHAT?
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
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What`s black & white & red all over?
An embarrased mime!
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