Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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