Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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