Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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