Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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