Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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