Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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