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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?
He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?
A puddle!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A watch dog.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A buck.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?
Punch.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?
He doesn't have a heart.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!
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