Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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