Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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