Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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