Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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