Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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