Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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