Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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