Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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