Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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