Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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