Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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