Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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