Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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