Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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