Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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