Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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