Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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