Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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