Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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