Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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