Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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