Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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