Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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