Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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