Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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