Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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