Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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