Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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