Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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