Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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