Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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