Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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