Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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