Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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