Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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