Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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