Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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