Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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