Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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