Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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