Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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