Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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