Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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