Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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