Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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