Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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