Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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