Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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