Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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