Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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