Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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