Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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