Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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