Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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