Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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