Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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