Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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