Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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