Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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