Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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