Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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