Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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