Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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