Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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