Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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