Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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