Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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