Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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