Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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