Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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