Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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