Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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