Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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