Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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