Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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