Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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