Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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