Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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