Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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