Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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