Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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