Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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