Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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