Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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