Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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