Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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