Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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