Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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