Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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