Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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