Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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