Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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