Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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