Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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