Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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