Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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