Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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