Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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