Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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