Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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