Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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