Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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