Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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