Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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