Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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