Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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