Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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