Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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