Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!

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