Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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