Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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