Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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