Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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