Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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