Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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