Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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