Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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