Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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