Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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