Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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