Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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