Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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