Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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