Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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