Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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