Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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