Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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