Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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