Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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