Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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