Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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