Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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