Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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