Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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