Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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