Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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