Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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