Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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