Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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