Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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