Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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