Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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