Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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