Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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