Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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