Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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