Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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