Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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