Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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