Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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