Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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