Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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