Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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