Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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