Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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