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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
Because of the bark
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand
and says make me one with everything.
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I'll call you later.
Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?
Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?
An onion
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