Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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