Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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