Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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