Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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