Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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