Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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