Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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