Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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