Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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