Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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