Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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