Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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