Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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