Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.

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