Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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