Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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