Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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