Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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