Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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