Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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