Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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