Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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