Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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