Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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