Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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