Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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