Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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