Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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