Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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