Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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