Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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