Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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