Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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