Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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