Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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