Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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