Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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