Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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