Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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