Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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