Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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