Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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