Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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