Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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