Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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