Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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