Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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