Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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