Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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