Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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