Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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