Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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