Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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