Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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