Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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