Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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