Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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