Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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