Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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