Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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