Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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