Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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