Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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