Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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