Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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