Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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