Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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