Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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