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Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb
None, sound engineers don't do lights
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
Wet.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?
No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What music does cheese listen to?
R & Brie.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?
Answer: The back of his head.
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