Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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