Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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