Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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