Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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