Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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