Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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