Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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