Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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