Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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