Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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