Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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