Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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