Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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