Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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