Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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