Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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