Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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