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Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed
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What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,
I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation anxiety.
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What's green and loud?
A froghorn.
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How do you make Holy water?
Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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