Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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