Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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