Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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