Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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