Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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