Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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