Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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