Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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