Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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