Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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