Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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