Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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