Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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