Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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