Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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