Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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