Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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