Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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