Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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