Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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