Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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