Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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