Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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