Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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