Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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