Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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