Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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