Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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