Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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