Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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