Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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