He had no patients.
or
To get to the baaaaarber shop
or
Climb up a tree and act like a nut
or
In a hambulance.
or
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
or
Because pepper makes them sneeze
or
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
or
The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
or