Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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