Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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