Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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