Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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