Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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