Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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