Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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