Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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