Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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