Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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