Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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