Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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