Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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