Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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