Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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