Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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