Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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