Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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