Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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