Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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