Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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A seal walks into a club...
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