Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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