Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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