Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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