Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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