Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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