Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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