Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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