Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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