Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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