Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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