Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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