Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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