Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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