Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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