Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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