Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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