Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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