Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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