Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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