Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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