Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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