Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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