Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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