Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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