Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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