Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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