Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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