Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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