Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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