Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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