Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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