Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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