Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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