Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A seal walks into a club...
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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