Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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