Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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