Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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