Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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