Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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