Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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