Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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