Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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