Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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