Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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