Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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