Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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