Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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