Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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