Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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