Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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