Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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