Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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