Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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