Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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