Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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