Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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