Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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