Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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