Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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