Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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