Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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