Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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