Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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