Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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