Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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