Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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