Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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