Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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