Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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