Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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