Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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