Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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