Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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