Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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