Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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