Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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