Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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