Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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