Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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