Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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