Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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