Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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