Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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