Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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