Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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