Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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