Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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