Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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