Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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