Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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