Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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