Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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