Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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