Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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