Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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