Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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