Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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