Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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