Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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