Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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