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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?
She was caught taking a brake.
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What's black and white and red all over?
A blushing zebra.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?
Sherlock Bones.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?
Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?
"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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