Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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