Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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