Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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