Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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