Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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