Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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