Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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