Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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