Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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