Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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