Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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