Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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