Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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