Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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