Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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