Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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