Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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