Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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