Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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