Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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