Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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