Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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