Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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