Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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