She was the fairest in the land.
or
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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When it's going cheep!
Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
or