You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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