You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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