Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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