What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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