What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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