What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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