What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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