What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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