What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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