What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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