Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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