What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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