Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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