Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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