What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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