What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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