What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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