What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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