What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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