What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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