Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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