Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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