What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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