What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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