What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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