I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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