How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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