What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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