A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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