What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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