Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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