What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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