If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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