Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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