A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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