What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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