Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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