How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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