What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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