What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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