A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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