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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?
H2O.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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