Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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