A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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