What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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