When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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