Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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