Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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