Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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