Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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