Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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