What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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