Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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