What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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